Worst Songs of 2011

Worst Songs of the Year (2011)

1. Blunt Blowin
2. MegaMan
3. 6 Foot 7 Foot
4. Nightmares of the Bottom
5. She Will
6. How to hate
7. Interlude
8. John
9. Abortion
10. So Special
11. How to Love
12. President Carter
13. It's Good
14. Outro
15. I Like the View
16. Mirror
17. Two Shots

Yes, you guessed it. The entire collection of worst songs all stem from the album “Tha Carter IV” by Lil Wayne. To summarize, he is the person least contributing to human life in the entire world. I’d go as far to say that my brother’s cat does more for society than Lil Wayne does.

"Thanks for the millions and funding my drug habits. Perhaps I’ll get a few more dozen ridiculous tattoos on my face. I couldn’t care less about my fans !"  - Lil Wayne

Hip-Hop and Rap in general seem to produce the lowest life forms in the world. Now I’m not simply stating a certain belief or idealism. Look at the facts – every single song either deals with a car sitting on huge rims, drug deals, money or dancing with scandalous women in clubs. They are all being glorified on the radio and more recently on the MTV music awards (which is quite hysterical, since MTV doesn’t really show music videos anymore). Since when does a community honor someone for having a criminal history and being forcefully ignorant? What a joke.

I’ll avoid going in depth why the music industry has been in the toilet recently and also why 98% of radio stations are not worth listening to. Honestly I use my iPod anytime I’m driving in my car or walking around … My one single complaint is the actual lyrics in songs. In the past, If you heard a great song, it usually consisted of lyrics about a deep thought/idea, a dream, an intricate story, family or friend issues, historical accounts, ect … all of these examples make sense. Now in comparison, here is what the majority of Rap songs consist of in the past few years:

(Video Begins)

• Drive by in a dope car, show the rims
• Roll up to a club entrance
• You get out, immediately girls are everywhere
• Throw money around like its nothing
• Show yourself dancing in the club with everybody

(End Video)   afterwards submit your palm on your face

That is all … I now must listen to some Queen in memory of Freddie Mercury’s 65^th birthday this week – Cheers !

Fast Food: the changing climate

The Fast food industry. Much has changed over the past 5-10 years.

I remember when I was little going out to eat wasn’t a difficult decision … usually it came down to either Burger King or McDonalds. After a careful deliberation, Micky Dees was the usual choice and we were treated with some extraordinary cuisine like smashed burgers, crappy fries and chicken ‘mc’nuggets (i still wonder what was in that ‘chicken’). Obviously times have changed and I’m actually very ecstatic at the sheer amount of selection available. You now have Wendys, Taco Bell, KFC, Long John Silvers (do people actually still eat there?), Jack in the Box, Quiznos, Subway and a few more smaller chains. Some of theses fast-food joints try to deceive their customers, with updated logos and interior renovations. Don’t let them fool you, the food quality hasn’t changed (this is coming from a 2 1/2 year BK veteran). Don't be dismayed however, there is still hope. By looking at a tier system one restaurant has risen above the rest: Chick-fil-A. They have a massive margin for the best quality food and least wait times of all the low to medium tier places. Chick-fil-A is still the pinnacle of great food and even greater service - up until recently.

Now there are some new front runners that have emerged. I believe they are actually changing the game … Chipotle and Jimmy Johns. 

 

If anyone has tried Chipotle you know where I’m coming from. The taste ecstasy that you experience is second to none. I’m certain they sprinkle crack or some type of drug on their food, though I could be mistaken (it’s that addictive). Some of you may declare, “well no problem I’ve been to Qdoba , that’s very similar” please don’t kid yourself … that’s like comparing lemonade to a well-aged wine. For another fun challenge once you’ve arrived at Chipotle is try and find at least 3 employees who have green cards – you may be there for a while.

The second newcomer is the edgy and hip Jimmy Johns.  The sandwiches and subs there are simply sublime. Not to mention their ’25 cent delivery’ up to 15 minutes away – what spectacular service! Once you walk in you should be greeted immediately by a smiling face and young workers making deliciousness right in front of you. The styling and design of the Jimmy Johns restaurants are very interesting. They definitely have a unique feel inside. From what I’ve heard they are still fairly new and not as flourishing as Chipotle, but still impressive.

In conclusion, please understand that not everyone has the opportunity to experience these amazing locales. Granted, they are still growing and expanding their franchises. This past year I’ve noticed two Chipotles and one Jimmy Johns open up around my area. So I would encourage you to go and seek these incredible restaurants out. It might be an easy drive or possibly take several hours, but the experience will be worth it!

- Cheers 

Shark Week Alternatives

So the time of annual shark lovers everywhere began this week - Discovery Channel showing their much anticipated 'Shark Week' ... such a great collection of epicness. Just the very thought of Shark Week can turn normal human beings into crazed lunatics. I find it interesting that many don't know when it starts or what time of the year to mark it on their proverbial calendars ... it simply surprises everyone and suddenly people begin to salivate at the very thought of watching great whites tear things limb from limb. I do thouroughly enjoy watching it. One part of me likes the educational aspect while the other part really wants to see these watery killers feast on helpless animals (of course seeing divers come inches away from death is equally enjoyable). 

They really are an astonishing creature. I find it interesting that Sharks are actually very misunderstood. Many of the fears people have resonate from movies, myth and legend. In fact they are just as curious and scared of us as we are of them. The majority of shark attacks occur with surf boarders and i can understand why. Sharks usually confuse them with seals looking 30 feet below in murky waters - makes sense.

Now I was curious about other species and how they would fare with an entire week dedicated in their honor. Sure some animals are pretty freakin' sweet and should merit 7 days worth of programming. Here are a few examples:

Platypus Week

Alright, this idea is more for comedy than anything else and might last 1 day, 2 at best. You must agree that the platypus is probably the most comical looking animal in the wild. Anybody wondering if God had a sense of humor - here is the proof !

  


Cheetah Week

 Moving on ... next we have Cheetah Week. Lets all be honest, cheetahs are pretty awesome. They simply look cool and have neat colors. I would honestly want one as a pet (if it were socially acceptable and domesticated). Cheetahs are insanely quick - with a top speed of almost 70 MPH. That is ridiculously fast, but keep in mind it comes in short bursts and they must rest frequently afterwards. Their tail is used like a rudder on a ship to help them 'steer' while they are running. Also they usually kill their prey from suffocation which isn't nearly as badass as a shark.

Manatee Week

 Lastly we have the all conquering manatee! Now before you judge, theses creatures are the most misunderstood of any sea beast. Manatees appear quiet, but in reality they are brutal man-eaters! Think about it, its the perfect disguise. They appear like a floating giant oaf, without a care in the world - and when nobody is looking they suddenly transform into the most terrifying vicious beast ever! Manatees are a formidable rival for sharks and should have their own week. Don't believe me? Here is an extremely rare picture of a manatee having his way with some little girl who got what she deserved! 

If I had my way, there would be a "Manatee Week" scheduled right after Shark Week !

Child vs. Sports Car - The Dilemma

Unbelievable … I can’t even enjoy a nice church service on Sundays without hearing a chorus full of annoying kids crying with high pitched screams. Babies are everywhere now, can’t the parents just leave them at home? Going to a movie theater, forget about it , because some genius had the brilliant notion to bring all their children into an R rated movie without considering the repercussions (hey it’s the cool thing to do right?) This simply surprises me how some families have the audacity to act that way … that is an EPIC FAIL for parenting. Don’t even begin to calculate how much money goes into raising that baby from a disobedient child to an angst-filled adolescent.

 

Studies have shown that the average child could cost around a quarter of a million dollars. Hold your breath, yes – the cost to raise a child from age 1 to 18 is $250,000. Sure you get to see your splitting image grow up and enjoy all those hundreds of hours of home movie footage. For a moment, think about what other options you could use that quarter of a million for. I’m proposing that there is a prominent alternative which many do not consider: Buying an exotic super car instead ! Think of all the wonderful experiences you would have with your exciting new Lamborghini Gallardo. Spend that $250k on something that you will enjoy beyond just a few years! It could truly be a relationship without altercations or disagreements. 

$250,000

$250,000

 

Below is a comparison chart :

                       Child                                  Exotic Sports Car

Endless doctor and medical bills	Dealer services and fees
Constantly changing diapers daily	Changing oil every 3 months
Expensive wardrobe and food costs	Auto Detailing equipment
Random events of puke at any moment	Difficult to avoid rain and bird droppings
Contagious baby laughter	Sound system that drowns out any noise
Annoying shrieks of crying	Loud thrilling exhaust sounds
Attention of mostly older women	Attention from younger, hotter women
Makes messes all over house	Occasional fluid leaks in garage
Babysitter required to go out anywhere	Go for an exciting ride any time
Results in emasculated feelings	Instant boost to confidence and ego

As you can see, the results are heavily favored towards the car  – which makes this a no-brainer

Which would you choose ? 

BABY --- OR --- LAMBORGHINI

OR

 * statistics taken from http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32290704/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/t/cost-raise-kid-nearly-quarter-million/

Self Awareness and Technology

Hello Internet. I wanted to introduce myself, but thought i would be too tacky - so this is it. I write about whats on my mind, newsworthy or otherwise and i’ll usually rant and rave about a specific topic … Enjoy !

The other day I decided to watch people and was intrigued from what I encountered. What ever happened to people simply noticing pedestrians walking by or giving a helping hand to an elderly lady crossing the street ? Not anymore! Now we are all too busy playing ‘Angry Birds’ on our cell phones or texting our favorite BFF … the level of self awareness has drastically declined over the past few years. The main culprit: Technology. 

I almost feel awkward now being in public environments without a cell phone to hold and pretend that you are so engrossed you need to block out the entire outside world. Not to mention those annoying Bluetooth earpieces people wear everywhere (except in their actual vehicle for which it was intended). I’ve decided that people who wear a Bluetooth earpiece all the time feel their personal importance and worth rivals those who are discovering the cure for cancer. This continuing trend is the reason behind newspapers and public payphones being phased out, not that it is all wrong, but there are consequences.

How quickly times have changed. I recall getting my first cell phone at the mature age of 18 and understanding how fantastic this was – point being I was in charge of the services and had to pay my own bill … Now all I see are annoying little kids holding their mp3 players, cell phones, tablets and whatever else their thoughtful parents purchased for them in hopes of them being socially and technologically advanced. Little do they realize they will forsake the ‘social’ part and rely more heavily on the ‘technology’ aspect. Listen, don’t get me wrong, I love technology and feel it has a very important, vital place in our everyday lives. The main point i’m focusing on is families conditioning their children to replace the everyday social environment with tech derived replacements instead. The only viable answer I could find is simple: let them grow into it. Give the children some time to develop first, let them discover things for themselves. Perhaps i'm being a little too 'old fashioned' or this could be the most brilliant debate ever conceived!

It’s so bad now babies are coming out of the womb with iPhones attached to their umbilical cords … where is it going to end ?!  

What are your thoughts or comments ? Let me know below so I can criticize, I mean thoughtfully analyze your responses …. Cheers